Keywords
Listen for these keywords.
bullets
clap
death threat
decline
distracted
permanently
stage
Linking words
Eventually
So
When
Story 1
Did I tell you about how I started in my career? I was given one of our team’s most `challenging’ accounts, a customer from Texas. Everyone in the office laughed when they heard about it. One colleague told me, `Yeah, that contact is a pain in the butt. Don’t expect much.’
I got many requests from that customer contact, and I did everything I could to help him. I thought we would have a big order by the end of the month; but when the time came, he didn’t order anything. So, since I was in Texas, a place where people like their guns, I went to a toy shop and bought a toy gun with six plastic bullets. I gave the gun to the customer at our next meeting, and I explained what was going to happen.
Here was my deal: He could ask me for anything he needed from us. But each time he asked, he had to give me one of those bullets. When I got all six bullets, I could ask for something in return, and you can probably guess what I wanted. Eventually, he agreed, and we made one of the biggest deals in our company history.
It probably had nothing to do with the bullets, but it’s still one of my favorite stories.
Story 2
Once, we were hiring for a software engineer. One candidate had a fantastic CV, and we invited him for an interview.
However, like many interviews, this one was nothing special. He had the skills, but something about him felt strange. He avoided talking about his job history and he seemed constantly distracted and irritated with our questions.
The candidate could see that we were not interested, so he asked us to look at his portfolio before leaving. Before we could say no or even wonder why a software engineer had a paper portfolio, he pulled out a folder and gave a presentation of his whole life, starting with his birth certificate!
After showing us that he was, in fact, born, he took out his kindergarten graduation certificate, his art awards from school, and all the paintings from his childhood and teenage years.
Of course, we didn’t hire him. After that, he continued to try to connect with us on social media, and we continued to decline his requests. In the end, he sent a LinkedIn death threat. At that point, I blocked him permanently.
Story 3
The first presentation I ever agreed to do was on How to Give an Effective Presentation for a group of MBA students. I wanted it to be perfect. However, I’d never done any public speaking before, so I was quite nervous.
My wife helped me prepare many times, so I felt ready. But I still decided to take notecards, just in case I forgot anything.
When I was introduced, I took my cards, and walked up the three steps to the stage … but suddenly I fell and my cards went on the floor. Some of the students started laughing nervously and as I picked up my 23 cards, I realized that they weren’t numbered!
I stood up and tried to stay calm. Then, I started my presentation: “Lesson Number 1: Make sure to number your notecards!” Everyone relaxed and we all laughed. Next, I threw the cards on the floor and said “Lesson Number 2: Prepare well so that your cards are unnecessary!”
Thankfully, I was well prepared and I knew what I was talking about. I explained that even experts get nervous. And the final lesson was to use humor so that your audience will remember you! When I finished, everyone clapped loudly and some students told me later that they thought I planned to drop the notecards. Since then, I have used that notecard trick several times, but always on purpose. And when I have a client who is nervous about public speaking, I always share this story!
Story 1 is based on an anecdote by Richard Nieset, chief customer officer, Pixlee (original story:
https://www.inc.com/john-brandon/8-funny-sales-stories-for-national-salesperson-day.html)
Story 2 is based on an anecdote by Michael Mehlberg of Modern da Vinci (original story:
https://www.recruiter.com/i/hilariously-hired-our-10-favorite-recruiting-stories/)
Story 3 is based on an anecdote by Sandy Sloane of SloaneSolutions (original story:
https://www.genardmethod.com/resources/funny-public-speaking-stories)
Exercise
Look at the topics below. Choose five and use them to create your own story using some of the linking words and phrases. When you are ready, write your stories. They should be about 200-500 words long. Double-check the grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Post your stories, one at a time, in the Acquire-English Group. Then send a notice to me using the Contact Form. Post all of your stories within 10 days.
a secretary
message
a business trip
$50,000
an office party
the CEO
a broken lift (elevator)
an email
a car crash
an airport
a bottle of champagne
a stolen laptop
a strange taxi ride
a meal in a restaurant